3 More Months

Less than 3 months until we get to see and hold our baby boy for the first time. I have never felt so many emotions at one time in all my life. Happy, excited, nervous, anxious...you could blame it on the hormones, but it could also be because I know that this tiny human is going to change our lives forever.

Laying in bed and feeling him rolling around and kicking is such an amazing/crazy experience. Until I was pregnant I never really realized how mind blowing pregnancy actually is. A woman's body literally creates and houses a baby INSIDE her body. Like, what? 
Sometimes I actually forget he's in there during the day, but quickly remember when picking something up off the ground isn't as easy as it used to be.

Don't get me wrong, among all of the beautiful things pregnancy is, pregnancy is also really hard. Before I was pregnant everything was go go go and I didn't have to think about it. I always sped around getting the chores and miscellaneous things done and never had to worry about getting tired or finding time to rest. Now my cleaning regime has decreased quite a bit and the amount I can get done in a day is split in half. My workouts have gone from 60 intense minutes to 20-40 slow paced minutes. Walking up the stairs is even tiring. I understand that every pregnancy is different so not everyone experiences this, but it is definitely the biggest change among them thus far for me. Even when they said the 2nd trimester was supposed to be full of energy, mine was not so much.

I do have to say there were times in the 1st and 2nd trimester where I was feeling sorry for myself. Why didn't anyone tell me pregnancy is not all about looking cute and buying baby clothes?! But honestly, as I move into the 3rd trimester I am full of excitement. I do have hard days, but at the end of them I know we are that much closer to meeting our baby, and that is amazing.

When we first found out we were pregnant I was scared. I was scared that I wasn't ready, I was scared I wouldn't be a good mom, but mostly I was scared of the unknown. I knew having a baby meant that we will no longer be able to get up and go when we please and we will no longer be able to go out with friends on a whim. Our bed times will be even earlier and our income will become smaller. However, it has really taken all this time for me to say and truly mean, "I do not care."

God has blessed us with this tiny baby to raise and take care of. This baby is a gift.

Society tells us that babies are work. They cry and take up all your time and money. You won't have any time to yourself and your relationships will suffer. But I say, screw you society. When has listening to you done any good for my soul anyways?

This baby will cry, and this baby will take up our time and money...but this baby is loved. This baby is chosen by God and gifted to us. How amazing is that?

Though pregnancy is hard, it has only been preparing me for the days to come. Some days will be hard but the joy of this child will far outweigh the bad times, which will also happen at the end of this pregnancy (thank goodness). It's easy to focus on the bad and negative and get caught up in the what ifs. However, when you focus on the good and the positive...that's life changing.

I'm not going to pretend that everything is going to be perfect, but I am going to cling to the fact that we have a GOOD and LOVING God and that he will bring us through anything that comes our way.

I may be young, but God gifted us a baby...and I am grateful.

For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

Comparison is Ugly

"Comparison is the thief of joy"--Theodore Roosevelt

I'm sure you've heard this a million times, as have I. I hear it and repeat it...yet I probably compare myself to someone at least 10 times a day.

The problem with this is that it leads us down a dark and lonely road. First we compare, which leads to jealousy, which leads to hateful thoughts about the person, which leads to self-hate, and on and on and on.

Whose to say that we aren't good enough? Whose to say that each one of us doesn't have something new and different to offer? Who on earth is bigger than God himself to tell us we aren't good enough?

The answer is...no one.

Magazines, television shows, movies, and modeling agencies....they all think they have the answer to what someone is supposed to look like, talk like, and dress like....but they know far less than we give them credit for.

God made us. God created us. God knows us. God cares for us.

Can I get an Amen?

God doesn't care if you go out and buy the newest fashion item nor does he care if you are the clumsiest person in the world. He loves you and he cares for you just the way you are and just the way he made you, which is a million times more than any magazine can say.

This being said, I completely understand that anything in life is easier said than done. I open up my computer and go on Pinterest and all I see are skinny, beautiful women wearing the clothes that I want, they are in the places I want to be and there is not one flaw in their skin.

But then I stop myself and remember, this is not real life.

All of these pictures are staged at the most perfect moment, with the perfect sunlight, with the perfect breeze, because people pay to see it. That's the business folks. People go to school to figure these things out....they are paid for this!

Don't get me wrong...I love fashion, I love modeling, I love pretty colors, I love it all. I was a fashion major for goodness sake.

The bigger picture is sometimes it all can lead us down an unwanted path of comparing ourselves and thinking we are not good enough, if we are not careful.

Most people take Proverbs 4:23 which reads...

"Above all else, guard your heart, from everything you do flows from it."

...and think of it only in the way that you should guard your heart from boys/ girls to make sure that they don't break it. Which, I get to an extent, but that's a different rant.

But, the way I see it, is to protect your heart from evil and protect your heart from worldly desires. If that fashion magazine you're reading only makes you feel worse about yourself and your body, then close it. If that television show is triggering bad thoughts and making you think thoughts of self-hate, then shut it off.

This isn't to say you can never buy magazines and never watch t.v...but just protect yourself and be careful. Be aware that these things are making you feel ways God never intended you to feel, and don't take them seriously.

When we start consuming our hearts and minds with ugly thoughts, it reflects in the way we speak and act towards others. And no one wants to be ugly, am I right?

God loves us. He loves you for being clumsy, silly, artsy...and he just loves you for you. This is what we need to cling to when we start comparing ourselves to others. Who cares what they think? It's about what God thinks.