Monday, July 13, 2015

I'm Free

"...and I said to my body softly, 'I want to be your friend.' It took a long breath and replied, 'I have been waiting my whole life for this.'" -Nayyirah Waheed

Do you ever read something and you feel a warmth over your whole body? As if your mind, body, and soul all line up the moment after reading it?

That is how I feel about this quote.

My whole life, I've only been fighting my body. Starving and manipulating it, trying to make it into something else...something that somebody else thinks it should be.

It wasn't until recently, when I really started to give my body a chance. Avoiding triggering thoughts and things that would only bring me envy and self-doubt.

What did I find?


Freedom from others opinions, freedom from my fears, freedom from my doubts...just soul quenching freedom.

In the past month I have experienced more self growth then I have in years and it is because I decided to listen to, love, and appreciate my body just the way it is.

I stopped excessively going to the gym, I walk instead of run, I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full, and I eat that piece of chocolate if I want that piece of chocolate, dangit.

Don't get me wrong, I fall back into bad patterns here and there, but the thing is...I recognize it. I know what I'm doing and where it leads and from there I can change those thoughts and actions.

Why do we need to look a certain way to be happy? And why do we let these thoughts hold us as prisoners?

There was a time when there was minimal fat on my body, I could run more than 13 miles without getting tired, and I worked out 2 times a day. Some would say that sounds like an awesome life. But guess what? I was so unhappy. Food and exercise ruled my life. What I ate affected my workouts, I needed to workout everyday, and if something interrupted my workout my day was ruined. My relationships suffered and so did my well-being.

It's been a hard lesson, but I've learned that if we don't love ourselves now, in this present time, in this moment....we will never love ourselves, even if we do have "the perfect body."

When we love ourselves, we shine a light of confidence that no diet and health plan could ever do.

We should work out because we love our bodies, we should eat because we love our bodies, and we should think good thoughts about ourselves because we love our bodies.

So, I urge anyone who is having a difficult day today and thinking bad thoughts about themselves, to go...look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are good enough and you do love yourself.

Your body works hard everyday keeping you alive, so free yourself from negative thoughts and fill yourself with love. It will only thank you for it.

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