I know I know, 8 months seems like minutes when you compare it to those 20-30 year-ers. We're still newbies at marriage, but so far married life has treated us well.
We knew that when we set our wedding date, December 20th, it would fall extremely close to Christmas and New Years meaning we would have to post pone our honey moon until a later time. Well...thank the Lord, our tickets are now booked!! Which means in just 2 short months we will be sitting on the beach, cocktail in hand, enjoying the warm sun on our faces.
You would think booking our tickets would leave me with nothing but excitement and joy, because what could be better than warm sun and the ocean to prepare us for brutal Midwest winter? But honestly, as ashamed as I am to say it, the first emotion I felt after my husband booked them was fear.
I've been struggling with fear and worry for quite some time, and with all that's been going on in the world my fear/worry/anxiety has been on an all time high.
It's also good to note that I've never been that person who thinks, "Oh, that could never happen to me" or "There's a one and a million chance that would happen." Oh no, I'm the type of person who ALWAYS thinks I'm the exception to the rule. I AM the ONE in a million...don't you understand!?
It's actually very exhausting, and you know exactly what I'm talking about if you too struggle with fear in your life. Because of this I've spent the last month or so reflecting on fear.
Did you know the phrase, "Do not be afraid" is written in the Bible 365 times? I've seen this written in blogs, on pinterest, and even mentioned in YouTube videos SO many times since I've been trying to surrender my fearful thoughts.
The thing is, I've "known" this. I knew that God doesn't want me to be afraid, I knew fear was a waste of time and gets me no where...but, for some reason I just couldn't rid of it.
It wasn't until I didn't just scan through the words, "do not be afraid" but when I actually let it sink in.
As Christians, we know that God does good for all those who love him, and we know that God doesn't make mistakes and as I said, I "knew" that. I've read those verses a hundred times and have heard sermons/messages about them over and over....but "knowing" something and believing it are two different things.
I can have, "Do not be afraid for I am with you" memorized and know exactly what page and what book and chapter of the Bible it's in and then just go on and do my daily things and not even let it completely register. But when I let that verse really settle in my heart and I truly believe it, it takes on a whole new meaning.
You know and acknowledge God,...but do you really believe and trust in him? Do you really believe that he sent his one and only Son to the earth to save you because He loves you more than anything? Do you really understand what that means? Because if you did...you would understand there is nothing in this world that is bigger than God. If God is for us, who can be against us? We TRULY have nothing to be afraid of because God, the creator of the universe, is on OUR side.
Just let it sink in.
It's amazing what a month can do. It's even more amazing what God can do when you surrender and let him take over.
Now, with all of this burning in my heart I still managed to smother it with fear. The difference between this time and all the times before however, is I can turn the fear off. I can turn to God and know he is good and go through all of his truths and truly believe them because they are in my heart...not just something I memorized. I believe it.
We don't know when our last day is going to be, but we do know that whenever it is, God is waiting for us with open arms. Isn't that a relief??
We will never be perfect. We know that and God knows that, but each day we can strive to be better. To fill our heart, mind, and souls with truths to create our path towards heaven.
God did not give us fear. We create fear when we decide not to trust God.
Lord, thank you for always being with us giving us the freedom from fear.
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