I rarely take what people say lightly (unless of course it's a joke...because we all need a good laugh). I take it all in and analyze what they said, why they said it, and how I should respond.
It sounds so funny typing it out when really it all happens in a split second.
But, it's because I believe words are so powerful.
Everything we think or say comes from a deep place in our heart whether we realize it or not.
If you surround yourself around dark things your words and actions are going to reflect it the same way as when you surround yourself with positive things and your words and actions reflect it.
Being a Christian, this resonates with me so deeply.
There was a time in my life when I surrounded myself around bad everything. Bad choices, bad people, bad substances...you name it. It was the lowest point of my life. I didn't realize that what I was surrounding myself with was poisoning my heart. I could no longer see what I was doing wrong. These things I once thought of as bad suddenly seemed okay and I didn't understand how what I was doing could affect anyone else. This affected the thoughts in my head which turned into the words I spoke out loud.
But, because God is so good and forgiving and loving, he lead me to my faith despite all of that. A faith I never really had before. He introduced people into my life that changed me for the better and I was finally in place of light when I had been in darkness for so long. It was as if there were layers getting taken off of my heart one by one that had been building up over time. I started surrounding myself with positive people, uplifting music, and inspirational books because it felt good and it felt right in my heart. In turn my thoughts were positive and my words were softer.
This is why I analyze words so frequently, because even though you don't realize it...they always mean something deeper than they first appear.
However, I am still human, and I fall into bad habits. One of my bad habits being that if I hear something I think came from a bad place I tend to let my heart turn angry before it turns to understanding.
This happened last night.
Now, I don't find the need in explaining the whole situation, only that some things were said and I knew that they were coming from a dark place.
My first instinct was to become angry with this person because how dare they right?
But as I sat there in my anger, I realized that was not something I should be doing as a Christian who should be reflecting the love of Christ.
So, I reached for my bible app.
I searched "slow to anger" and Proverbs 14:29 came up.
This kind of bit at my heart a little bit because lately, I have been so quick to anger and slow to understanding.
And although I have read this verse many times, it was in this moment that I had a deeper understanding for it. It's funny how the bible does that huh?
I started to then think about this persons situation. How they may be in a dark place in their life, and they may not even understand how the words they speak affect other people.
Who am I to judge when I too once went through a dark period of my life? Who am I to get angry when God himself was so patient and understanding with me?
Instead of getting angry I should be praying that they will allow Jesus into their heart. I should be praying for their soul. I should be praying.
It's not about me....it's about the soul of that person and how I can act in a way that will bring them that much closer to God. How does God want to use me in this situation?
Surely anger isn't going to help anything.
In all of this, I came out with the knowledge that we should be just as understanding about words as we are careful with them.
How amazing is it that we serve a God that loves us despite our selfishness and fallen ways?
Thank you Lord for showing me understanding even though I'm slow to understand others. Please show me to be more like you.
"Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you." Natsuki Takaya